God - unprofessional

Just replied to a Tweet from @Iamdiddy and @BishopNoelJones - claiming that miracles can happen if you "cast God" in the "production" that is your life.
Maybe I can get a celeb follower??

My first response to this Tweet I must admit was one of indignant disbelief -"Diddy casts God in his production???" I asked myself - indignantly and disbelievingingly -  Doing what? Holding the dancers tits in place when they're doing some particularly vigorous jiggling and writhing .

But then it struck me that I was making a rash assumption - namely that God would apply the same rules to someone of Diddy's prominence as he does to the average mortal person in the hood.

Clearly that would be inappropriate and could lead to a cooling of relations between God and Diddy's respective people.

 With that in mind I did a little research and found the obscure Chapter from Exodus - not included in the King James edition -  which sets out special sets of commandments for Hip Hop moguls -

Lo, here be the 10 Commandments of the Lord Thy God to PDiddy

1.  Thou shalt accumulate obscene wealth
2. Thou shalt raise the flaunting of said wealth to an art form in itself.
3. Thou shalt equate questionable behaviour up to and including criminal acts with being "real".
4. Thou shalt refer to and be seen to treat fellow humans of the female persuasion as though they were a form of livestock or trained circus animal.
5. Though shalt encourage by example the wearing of preposterously ugly jewellery and associating of   certain brands of alcohol with "class".
6. Thou shalt recycle a mawkishly irritating Sting number and have a huge hit.
7. Thy success shall be derived largely from appeal to the egos and insecurities of  niave and suggestionable members of society (white middle class teenage boys) but thou shalt attribute it to divine approbation, thanks mate :).
8. Thou shalt make a musical virtue of parading thy wrongdoing in a tone of self pity calculated to suggest that thee thyself are the victim thereof.
9. Thou shalt fail to distinguish self respect from self importance - and brag about it.
10. Thou shalt appear in public dressed entirely in white (Ok, that one is actually quite cool from some angles).
11. Thou shalt forgive thy detractors, thou art way better than them anyway and more rich and famous, they are clearly haters and not worthy of thy time, bro. Word.

Number 11 is mine.

No doubt Diddy has a couple of stone (marble) (no, make that gold, no platinum plated marble) tablets with that lot engraved on them in all his cribs.

Anyway my reply to the Tweet was that whenever I've cast God I've found him to be generally unprofessional, and more trouble than he's worth (Probably because he doesn't exist - tbf) :D